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Tag Archives: relationships

When love doesn’t come to town – What to do when you don’t love your stepchildren.

Whoever you are and whatever your circumstances, love is complex. Within stepfamilies however, love can be very complex. Especially when it comes to stepparents and stepchildren. This is thanks, in part, to a really distinctive attribute of the stepparent-stepchild relationship which is that love, is ultimately a decision. Think about it. People become stepparents because […]

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On the outside looking in? Insider/Outsider relationships in stepfamilies

Feel like an outsider in your own home? Let me guess, you’re a stepparent, right? Stepfamilies are different from first-time families. Despite that seeming like such common-sense, many adults in stepfamilies still assume their stepfamily will function just like a first-time family. Those expectations of fitting a round peg (think stepfamily) into a square hole […]

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The Secret to Stepparent Happiness: Stop Caring So Much

When I look back at my stepparent journey I can’t believe how much time I wasted on things that I either couldn’t control or at the end of the day didn’t bring me closer to my goal of having a stepfamily & life I love. It seemed as soon as the title of stepmother descended […]

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Stepfamilies & Respect

Respect is considered a critical element in any successful relationship. It also goes a long way towards developing a harmonious home. Certainly within stepfamilies the word “respect” is regularly used – you know that old chestnut “you don’t have to love or even like your mum’s/dad’s partner but you do need to be polite and show […]

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A Crisis of Stepmother Faith

The other day one of my best friends, who is both a mother and stepmother, made some comments that seemed to suggest she was experiencing some intense doubt and internal conflict about her 13 relationship with her stepdaughter. Recently, she said, she was finding herself being more and more affected by her stepdaughter’s (and her […]

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Stepparents are social beings too – why they need to, and should, spend kid free time with other adults

It is widely accepted that social support and connections have a positive influence on human beings’ physical, spiritual and mental health. At the heart of it, we are social beings and people need people. In fact, we thrive amidst healthy relationships. Relationships of all kinds provide us with a sense of belonging, shared experience, socialization, […]

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