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Category Archives: Stepparent

introducing

I am a Stepmother. I am a Lighthouse.

There is no guide on how to stepparent. No ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ stepparent-style best seller. There’s no wise proverbs, ‘old wives tales’ or oral stories passed down from generation to generation to provide guidance and support to new stepparents about to embark on their stepparenting journey. Soon-to-be stepparents do not get baby […]

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A Crisis of Stepmother Faith

A Crisis of Stepmother Faith

The other day one of my best friends, who is both a mother and stepmother, made some comments that seemed to suggest she was experiencing some intense doubt and internal conflict about her 13 relationship with her stepdaughter. Recently, she said, she was finding herself being more and more affected by her stepdaughter’s (and her […]

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13 things

13 Things I’ve Learnt From 13 Years as a stepmum

A few weeks ago was the ‘anniversary’ of the day I met my stepson for the first time. I had dated his dad for 6 months before meeting him. My stepson was 2 ½ and I was 30 years old. We’ve both grown a lot since then and here’s a few things I learned along […]

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cookingfeature

Build a Better Relationship With Your Stepkid

If you ask any stepparent to name their top three stepfamily challenges, odds are their relationship with their stepkids is going to be somewhere on that list. Stepparents everywhere know there is little joy to be found in searching for their place with children who already have two parents. But, in finding their place, the […]

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the name game

The Name Game: What do kids call their stepparents?

Labels and language are important. If you didn’t think so before, their importance becomes absolutely unavoidable when you journey into the world of a stepfamily. You just have to think of the plethora of names and labels used to describe stepfamilies: blended, merged, reformed, reorganised, recycled, repartnered and second time round families (to name but […]

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The Ties That Bind2

The Ties That Bind: Loyalties in stepfamilies

  Like mother, like daughter. Like father, like son. We’ve all heard these proverbs. Some of us may have even reiterated them once or twice about our nieces or nephews, our close friends’ children, our own kids or our stepchildren. The sayings reflect what we know. Children tend to identify with their same-sex parent and […]

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meetingkids

Meeting The Kids For The First Time – How To Make It Positive

So, you read our previous post, Are We There Yet – When Is The Right Time To Introduce A New Relationship To Your Children?, and you and your partner have decided it’s time for you to meet your future stepkids. Feeling excited and extremely nervous all at the same time is par for the course. […]

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GoodEnough

Why Good Enough May Be Just Perfect: Stepparent Expectations

Let’s face it, stepfamilies are formed after divorce, the death of a parent or the marriage of a single parent who has, up to that point, raised their child alone. Stepfamilies do not come to pass without all those involved having already lived through at least one major life event and all the stressors that […]

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boundaries

Boundaries & Stepfamilies

Never underestimate the importance of boundaries. When you don’t have them you end up either walking all over the people in your life or getting walked on. Savvy stepfamilies make sure neither of these happens in their homes! You know the saying ‘choose your battles’? Recognition that you, as a stepparent, get to have a […]

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