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Cellars

Stepfamilies, Time, Trade-offs & Tough Choices

We all want to think (and hope) that once we have found our king or queen, happily ever after and a blissful family will automatically follow. But if you have ever experienced heartbreak and divorce you know the reality is that happy families (and healthy relationships) don’t just happen because we fall in love. They […]

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self regulation

Self-regulation – why it’s important for stepfamilies & co-parents

Self-regulation – why it’s important for stepfamilies and co-parents. Self-regulation is being able to manage feelings (particularly big feelings) so they don’t intrude heavily on our relationships or when going about our day-to-day life. It relates to the ability to resist losing it in situations where we are upset, frustrated or just plain pissed off […]

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DifferentChristmas1

A different Christmas

The carols are playing, the decorations are up and strings of lights are strung over houses with care. It all seems rather normal, but for repartnered families having a first (or tenth!) Christmas together, it can feel pretty surreal. We share Christmas with my stepson’s mother. One year he spends Christmas Eve and early Christmas […]

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pop

Tips For Managing Family Traditions in Your Stepfamily

The ways in which we engage with our nearest and dearest and extended family on a regular, perhaps daily, weekly or even annual basis, form the basis of our family traditions and rituals. Traditions that range from ordinary routines and day-to-day activities – think those parents who routinely give their children a hug before leaving for […]

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power-of-gratitude

The Power of Gratitude for Stepfamilies

There are a number of celebrations across the globe that take place each November. Think, All Saint Day/Day of the Dead celebrated throughout Mexico (1 November), Guy Fawkes Night celebrated in New Zealand and in United Kingdom (5 November), Armistice Day/Remembrance Day, a memorial day recognised world-wide to honour the war dead (11 November) and […]

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friends with ex

Stepmom’s, can you be friends with your partner’s Ex?

Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw once famously asked “can you be friends with an Ex?”. For those of us that have found love with someone who has children from a previous relationship the question is not only “can you” but also “should you be friends with your partner’s ex”. And more to the point, […]

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Stepfamilies & Respect

Respect is considered a critical element in any successful relationship. It also goes a long way towards developing a harmonious home. Certainly within stepfamilies the word “respect” is regularly used – you know that old chestnut “you don’t have to love or even like your mum’s/dad’s partner but you do need to be polite and show […]

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emotional space 2 homes

The Space Between 2 Homes

Now we all have different needs for space, physical and emotional. As we go about our daily life, different spaces (and states) help us to carry out the task in hand or to recover from them. Emotional spaces can be influenced by the physical spaces we inhabit and vice versa. Our needs for these spaces […]

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introducing

I am a Stepmother. I am a Lighthouse.

There is no guide on how to stepparent. No ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ stepparent-style best seller. There’s no wise proverbs, ‘old wives tales’ or oral stories passed down from generation to generation to provide guidance and support to new stepparents about to embark on their stepparenting journey. Soon-to-be stepparents do not get baby […]

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