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Tips For Managing Family Traditions in Your Stepfamily

The ways in which we engage with our nearest and dearest and extended family on a regular, perhaps daily, weekly or even annual basis, form the basis of our family traditions and rituals. Traditions that range from ordinary routines and day-to-day activities – think those parents who routinely give their children a hug before leaving for […]

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friends with ex

Stepmom’s, can you be friends with your partner’s Ex?

Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw once famously asked “can you be friends with an Ex?”. For those of us that have found love with someone who has children from a previous relationship the question is not only “can you” but also “should you be friends with your partner’s ex”. And more to the point, […]

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power-of-gratitude

The Power of Gratitude for Stepfamilies

There are a number of celebrations across the globe that take place each November. Think, All Saint Day/Day of the Dead celebrated throughout Mexico (1 November), Guy Fawkes Night celebrated in New Zealand and in United Kingdom (5 November), Armistice Day/Remembrance Day, a memorial day recognised world-wide to honour the war dead (11 November) and […]

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Stepfamilies & Respect

Respect is considered a critical element in any successful relationship. It also goes a long way towards developing a harmonious home. Certainly within stepfamilies the word “respect” is regularly used – you know that old chestnut “you don’t have to love or even like your mum’s/dad’s partner but you do need to be polite and show […]

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emotional space 2 homes

The Space Between 2 Homes

Now we all have different needs for space, physical and emotional. As we go about our daily life, different spaces (and states) help us to carry out the task in hand or to recover from them. Emotional spaces can be influenced by the physical spaces we inhabit and vice versa. Our needs for these spaces […]

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introducing

I am a Stepmother. I am a Lighthouse.

There is no guide on how to stepparent. No ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ stepparent-style best seller. There’s no wise proverbs, ‘old wives tales’ or oral stories passed down from generation to generation to provide guidance and support to new stepparents about to embark on their stepparenting journey. Soon-to-be stepparents do not get baby […]

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A Crisis of Stepmother Faith

A Crisis of Stepmother Faith

The other day one of my best friends, who is both a mother and stepmother, made some comments that seemed to suggest she was experiencing some intense doubt and internal conflict about her 13 relationship with her stepdaughter. Recently, she said, she was finding herself being more and more affected by her stepdaughter’s (and her […]

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SOFTLY SOFTLY

Softly Softly – how to address co-parenting and step-parenting issues in a softer way

As people who are ex-partners and step-parents, it’s essential to learn how to manage conflict in a healthy way. Meeting anger with hostility (or vice versa) only continues to destroy trust and is also not a good example to set to the children about effective communication, how to manage big emotions or to resolve conflict. […]

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Making Transitions Easier_

Making Transitions Easier: tips for stepparents & co-parents

What are transitions? Transitions are the movement or changes from one position, stage or state to another. These changes can be gradual or sudden and last for differing periods of time. They can be emotional, physical, intellectual or even physiological. There are many different transitions children and young people face in their lives, a number […]

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